If I wronged you, and you show me that I wronged you, I will ask for forgiveness and I will do better. And I’ll own it.
FULL STORY IN VIDEO:
SANDY HOOK
August, September of 2017 I had to have an emergency partial hysterectomy because I had endometriosis, Stage 4. But I didn’t know I had it, because I had ani osmosis, which is a hardening and the thickening of the uterus, and my uterus was the size of a 5-month pregnant woman’s. And it was growing to the side of my body causing my bladder to have to be pinned back up. So I had to have emergency surgery. I have brain tumors, I'm on blood thinners, [so] in order for me to have a major surgery like that I have to be weaned from blood thinners. I didn't have a chance to do that. I started bleeding out, and I had to have blood transfusions. So I am under a lot of narcotics, which I don’t usually--I'm the type of an all-natural person. When I went through most of my cancer, I did black charcoal teas, and I did a lot of holistic stuff. So I don't like to take narcotics and I was on a morphine drip.
I told my husband when this happened, I said, “I gotta defend myself. I need to defend myself.”
I woke up to 84 Twitter people bashing me, saying let's just target Scott Baio’s wife, Let's target him, you know? Let's target his wife, let's come after her. And I was under strict care of the doctor, and I chose--and I'm not proud of it, and I didn't know at the time--but the person that I chose to answer back to happened to be a Sandy Hook mother, and I didn't know that. [She wrote] “I really hope that you're not lying about your brain tumors, and I really hope that you're this and you're not that…” And she targeted me, she tweeted to me first. And to be honest i knew nothing about Sandy Hook--my hand to Jesus, God struck me dead. In my medically-enhanced early morning reality, Whenever I'm waking up to hate, after hate, after hate, I just said, “In your nastiness, maybe your child is better off in heaven, because you're super nasty.” I’m paraphrasing it.
From 6 to 13, I was being abused, had to eat that, put my tail between my legs--don't want to ruffle anybody's feathers, to tarnish someone, you know, that speaks the word of God
I mean, every media outlet was calling our home phone, calling Scott’s agent, calling my parents house, calling everybody. I am “the devil,” and now I'm a Sandy Hook denier, conspiracy theorist. Basically within hours after I realized what had happened, I'm like, “Oh my God!” You know i still have the screenshot of the Kevin guy who said, “Hey, let's go after Mrs. Scott Baio, fire away, fire and the hole--go after her.” And so again, I'm defending myself, it's just the way I am, you know? And out of the 80-something people that came at me unprovoked and unwarranted, I picked the wrong one and I didn't know it. And shame on me.
Anyhow, I apologized to this woman in a series of 7 tweets, and they are numbered 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7--and she accepted my apology. She did, right away. But the public don't care about that, and I'm forever labeled. And both times , both times, I told my husband when this happened, I said, “I gotta defend myself. I need to defend myself.” You know, we've been on all these different talk shows, and I've had to eat it. Put my tail between my legs, I've had to eat it.
From 6 to 13, I was being abused, had to eat that, put my tail between my legs--don't want to ruffle anybody's feathers, to tarnish someone, you know, that speaks the word of God, in that little, small town to bring everybody down. So I've always had to eat it, and keep my mouth shut, and I'm not doing it anymore. So that's another reason when we fought this girl. ‘Coz I’m like, we ain't gonna hush and let it all go away.
I’ve had to ask God to forgive me for that poor Sandy Hook woman. You know, I was wrong.
So those are the two things [Jezebel.com and Sandy Hook], since I reconnected with you, that has happened in my life that has cast a dark cloud over me. And I feel like: A.) I didn't defend myself; B.) I was targeted both times, and I'm not trying to play the victim, it is what it is. I'm an easy target because if you can't get to my husband, if you go after his wife or his child, then it makes people, you know--an easier target. My skin has gotten thicker over the years, and I’ve learned some lessons. And again, I’ve had to ask God to forgive me for that poor Sandy Hook woman. You know, I was wrong.
It's just the Christian thing to do that when someone dies that suffered--you know, my mother-in-law suffered for 16 years and that's the first thing my mama said, “Well, she's not in pain anymore. She's in heaven. She knows no pain. You know, she's better off now.” And she said it to my husband, and he agreed with her. I didn't mean it in vain, and I carry that burden even though, like I said, I was targeted. Thank you for letting me explain it, because I never have.
TO FORGIVE, DIVINE
If I wronged you, and you show me that I wronged you, I will ask for forgiveness and I will do better. And I’ll own it. I think that a lot of people don't own their faults and their mistakes. And I'll be the first to tell you , I’ll own mine. And I will try to make it a point to do better. And I think that's the difference between me and a lot of people. And I hope I teach that to Bailey, but I know my husband has learned that from me, too. He tells people that I'm the most resilient person he's ever met, because I can identify if I’ve wronged somebody. I got taken advantage of when I first moved here from the farm, from Tennessee. I believed everybody, “You could be on this!” Really? I was like carjacked, and robbed, and I was a loser magnet forever. Like I said, I had to kiss a lot of toads to find my prince.
I learned [that] nothing is a mistake and there is no bad relationship, if you learned something from it. I have learned a lot of lessons in life. The first thing I learned is, I am a sinner and I'm not perfect. Whenever someone identifies that I have hurt them or wronged them, if I see that I have, I'll be the first to admit that I'm wrong, and I will tell you publicly that I was wrong, and I will do better.
I got taken advantage of when I first moved here from the farm, from Tennessee. I believed everybody...I was like carjacked, and robbed, and I was a loser magnet forever.
But if you come at me and I know that I'm not wrong, I will bite back very hard and I'm fierce to defend my family. And my friends. I’m like, “Girl, hold my purse. Don’t set my nice purse on the floor, but I will kick this person’s butt right now, for you.”
DOING ENOUGH
I'm not afraid of death. I feel like there is heaven, and I hope that I've done enough here on Earth for myself and others. I don't wanna go yet because I wanna watch my child grow up. My husband’s 60 years old, I mean my God, when she has kids I might be feeding him, you know, baby food--and feeding her child baby food. I don't know, but I wanna be able to stick around and see it and be part of it, and I wanna be there for all of her milestones.
HOW THE ABUSE ALLEGATIONS HAVE AFFECTED BAILEY
How much pain does my little girl have? Two years ago she came home from school, and she was really quiet. Ever since preschool, preschool man, I loved her [teacher], Ms. Maddox. She would say, “What's your win? W.I.N. What's your win for the day?” It's a psychology move, a child psychology tool that you use to get children to be open and honest, and to have the open dialogue. Because if she'll tell you the best thing, chances are she’ll tell you the worst thing. So I had to ask her six or eight times, “What's wrong, what's wrong, what’s wrong? Is someone bullying you? What's goin’ on?”
The first thing I learned is, I am a sinner and I'm not perfect.
She looked at me and she says, “Mama, does Daddy like boys? Does Daddy like boys? Does he like little boys?” What, what, what? And I was destroyed. Destroyed. Because she heard it at school. She didn't wanna believe it and she thought she was going to get into trouble by even saying it to me. And I have been open and honest with her. She knows that I was abused as a child, and she knows that I was robbed of my childhood. That's why I want her to have Santa Claus. And I want her to play with American Girl dolls. And I don't want her to wear makeup yet. And I don't want her to dress provocative, and I want her just to be a little girl. She just made a fairy garden. It's ok to be age appropriate. We tell her, “Be a kid as long as you can, Bailey. It's OK. You don't have to live in the fast lane and do what all these other kids are doing.”
But we also talked to her like an adult. We’re like, “Bailey, even if it's your best friend--and we start naming her best friends--and they want you to do a drug, or drink alcohol or do a drug, you better call mom and daddy. You're not gonna be in trouble if you call us, you will not be in trouble. We’ll come pick you up no matter what. But if you don't call us, then you're in trouble.” And I said, “Bailey, they’ll throw their life away. It only takes one time you get that poison into your body one time, your body's gonna crave it and you throw your life away, and you will not have us. Not gonna happen. We give you all the tools to be independent, and strong, and to know right from wrong. And we are telling you right now. It only takes one time.”
“Mama, does Daddy like boys? Does Daddy like boys? Does he like little boys?” What, what, what? And I was destroyed. Destroyed.
And she asked Scott, not too long ago she goes, “What did your dad say about drinking and doing drugs?” He said, “Bailey, my dad said, ‘If you ever do drugs, I'll kill you.’” Hahaha. He goes, “That's all it took.” And that's the reason why Scott, you know, he was a ladies’ man but he never did drugs. Never got in trouble, never had a D.U.I. None of that stuff.
SCOTT’S ‘ADDICTION’
His addiction to Amazon Prime. He has ordered sneakers, he's trying to find sneakers. It has to have a wide toe box, but they can't look too colorful or like ‘young,’ or they can’t look too ‘old man.’ He has probably ordered 17 pairs of tennis shoes? He'll try them on, he’ll put ‘em in the box. And here's the thing--he drives to the postal annex or to UPS to ship them back. [I’d say] “You could have tried on those shoes until you found a pair that you liked, and left. And be done with it.” Three months later, he’s still got tennis shoes showing up at my front door!
My mom and I, we go to Disneyland and we stay all day, do the rides and then do the hotel. He just wants to stay there for two hours, and just eat.
BAILEY SECONDS THE MOTION
Bailey (B): So here’s the deal with Amazon…
Renee: Tell on Daddy…
B: So mommy’s friend, Natalie, she’s like, “Oh, just use Amazon.” My dad's like, “What is Amazon?”
R: And then “Prime.”
B: Then there’s Prime, then 2-day shipping, and an hour shipping, and the groceries…
R: Tell them about all the shoes he just ordered.
B: But, so everyday there’s a package. And he's so excited, like Christmas. But everyday it's like shoes, clothes…
R: And how many does he send back every single time?
B: Like 10. He got like five packages today. Amazon's like his baby. Like he goes to it everyday.
R: It’s crazy…like all the drivers know him...
B: There’s a funny thing, “Daddy I need this for school…” (claps) Amazon. He doesn't want to go to a store. He’s like, “Ugh, I have to go to a store.”
R: He goes to a hardware store, that’s it. The local hardware store.
B: My mom and I, we go to Disneyland and we stay all day, do the rides and then do the hotel. He just wants to stay there for two hours, and just eat.
R: And then he leaves. He drives separate, so he can leave.
B: So we went to Epcot, and he doesn’t like to ride rides because he has this ear thingy, and his ear thingy makes him…
B: But every single ride he's eating something new. Every single ride he's eating something new. He's eating ice cream, he’s eating a smoothie. Then he's eating pretzels, then he’s eating raisins.
R: Corn dogs…
B: Then he’s eating popcorn. It's crazy. I'm like, “How do you eat all that?”
MOMMY DUTIES
R: I’m like her Uber driver, I can’t.
B: She is my chauffeur.
Scott (S): You’re still on the phone?
R: Yes! I’m talking to Kariz. We’re catchin’ up. It’s been almost a decade since I’ve seen her. We’re reconnecting.
S: Go to sleep!
BAILEY THE HAIRSTYLIST
B: I had like Shirley Temple curls when I was 3. I cut them all off. I don't know why.
R: She didn't just stop…
B: I gave myself, like, the weirdest hairstyle. It was short here and long in the back.
R: And then she hid it in the horse's mane, she hid it in her little horse’s mane. She did it in her playroom, and she had two different pairs of scissors. It was the day after the Academy Awards because we were watching the Academy Awards from we were scrapbooking. And I had magazines for her to cut out. And I had just set it up in our screening room, and so she went in there and got the scissors and went to wear playroom--she has a mirrored closet door. She did this when Scott and I were still in bed, asleep.
B: ‘Coz I wake up at like, 5.
R: And I had a big, my bed was like a platform bed, and she's like tapping me to wake up and I look at her, and I think I’m dreaming. And I look at her again and I was, “Oh my God, where’s your hair?”
B: She got really mad at me…
R: I was so mad, oh my God, I was so mad…And one of my best friends laughed. She laughed, she thought it was so funny. She has two sets of twins, two years apart. She laughed at me, and laughed at me, because I cried. Saw her little princess, the little blonde haired girl, she cut her bangs up to the scalp. Right? Remember when Carmela did that?
B: Yeah! [laughing out loud]
R: She cried and cried, and I'm like, “Haha!” That was really worse than what she did. And then as it started to grow out, she did it again! [both laughing]
R: I mean, it hurt me like I was like wounded when she cut her hair. And then the fact that it grew back in straight.
B: Yeah, I want curly hair now.
R: We’re gonna let you go, cos it’s past her bedtime. Be well.
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