GINNY & DAUPHNE
There was just one more hurdle. We had not told our respective parents that we were lesbians.
"Click on... Click off...Click on...Click off" goes the indoor car light above the passenger's seat. I was waiting patiently for her to lean over and give me a goodnight kiss. This was my ever so subtle way of letting her know that I was waiting. I got impatient. I went in and gave her one soft kiss then bolted out the door.
That was 5 years ago. It all started with a chance meeting at a "Meet Up" for lesbians living in the Lexington, Kentucky area. I have been going to their monthly Sunday brunches ever since September. January was her first meeting.
As most members were finishing their meal during the Sunday brunch, I just asked a few people who among them had traveled to Europe. Most answered that they had no passport, and didn't even leave the state. Then, a sweet voice came from the middle of the table, and this cute strawberry blonde woman raised her hand ever so slightly and said that she had traveled all around Europe when she was a little girl and had gone back since. Fireworks went off in my head, and a giant smile appeared on my face. This will be interesting!
Her dad was a Baptist pastor and a strict father. I grew up in a Roman Catholic country where people frown upon lesbians--possibly more than they do gay men.
I wanted to talk to her some more but my friend that I hitched a ride with had to go, so I had to go too. Before I left, I casually squeezed her shoulder and told her that I was really glad to meet her and went on my way. Once I got back to my apartment, I immediately got on the Meet Up site and sent her a message as well as my digits. I waited Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. Maybe she is either together with someone else, or just not interested in me. Why is it taking her so long to get back to me? Then came Wednesday evening. At last! She invited me to a casual dinner on Friday night at a quiet local dinner place within a bookstore. I jumped with joy anticipating a wonderful night.
I got impatient. I went in and gave her one soft kiss then bolted out the door.
We met at the bookstore and she showed me some photos in a picture book that her friend made. It was interesting, but I needed a drink. I told her that I noticed Whole Foods was offering a $5 beer and apps pair tasting that night which was located downstairs from the bookstore.
That was fun for me but she didn't drink, so I felt bad and offered to buy dinner at any place that was authentic. She brought me to this hole-in-a-wall Mexican place where no one spoke English but had pictures on the wall of what they served. Score! After having our fill of burritos and tres leches cake, she offered to go across the street to a Mexican bakery. I took her arm and held her hand as we were crossing the street. Sweet, I know!
In July, she asked me to marry her just in time for the equal marriage act which allowed same sex couples to wed in all 50 states.
She asked me--probably 3 times--why I would want to go out with her. I said that she was cute. She said that she was 12 years older than me and thought she would not have a chance. She was going to wait for the next brunch to make her move, and take it from there. Her last relationship was with a Brazilian woman 12 years ago. I broke up with my girlfriend of 11 years when I met her.
She called it a night since she had a 2-hour drive back to her apartment. As she drove me back to my apartment, she already asked me out for tomorrow night and the night after that, but I did not let her go until I got my goodnight kiss. (See first paragraph)
We saw each other every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, then we moved in together that summer. In July, she asked me to marry her just in time for the equal marriage act which allowed same sex couples to wed in all 50 states.
There was just one more hurdle. We had not told our respective parents that we were lesbians. It took some heart and soul for the both of us to gather up the courage to tell them. It was difficult because we all know that all parents would be disappointed when they find out that your child is gay/lesbian/no-sexual. It was hard for both of us to come out to our parents but then again, we are all adults and we can decide what we will do in our lives.
Her dad was a Baptist pastor and a strict father. I grew up in a Roman Catholic country where people frown upon lesbians-- possibly more than they do gay men. My Mama decided to support me in whatever and wherever I decide to do--as long as she approves of it, of course. She wanted me to go to the US because of all the opportunities available here for an out of work 30-plus year old woman. My brother lives in Lexington, KY with his husband. I applied for a student visa for a community college in Lexington. I got my student visa in 6 months. I studied to be a nurse, but did not finish.
It was difficult because we all know that all parents would be disappointed when they find out that your child is gay
It was hard, but we got through it. My father-in-law officiated the wedding. We got married for less than $1,000 by having the ceremony at a state park and the reception at our newly-acquired house. I got my wedding dress at Ross for $20, shoes for $7 at Payless and had my makeup done at a MAC counter at the mall. She used her own clothes and did not want any makeup done.
Our first priority was to make me an American citizen. She and I researched and spent a lot of time and money for 4 years to make that happen. I got my US passport a month after that. We stayed in Italy for 2 weeks in May, and spent 2 weeks in France in August.
She believes in me like no one else, and I can see and feel the love she has for me through the years. She is an introvert, and me an extrovert. You know what they say--opposites attract. I think I make her open up and be more social, while she keeps me grounded. I am a better person with her in my life and I would not want it any other way.
Story by Ginny’s wife, Dauphne Calleja