One lesson I have learned that has brought me peace is having faith in the concept that you can’t mess up what is meant for you.
It’s funny, we are always so anxious about life--whether we will succeed, and whether good things will happen for us. One lesson I have learned that has brought me peace is having faith in the concept that you can’t mess up what is meant for you. No matter what. It is yours unconditionally. Your destiny only has your name on it, and when your time comes it will happen. You have to trust the process no matter how nerve wracking it can be not to know or understand the chain of events in front of you.
I left Asia and my career in television and media--with everything that was familiar and dear to me--to move to New Zealand to study law. I worked jobs through law school to support myself and at one of those roles, I met Matt. We chit chatted randomly when we saw each other, but it wasn’t until October 2017 that we started dating. It was a tricky time for me because I was sitting my final exams, and he just supported me emotionally from the sidelines, understanding when I couldn’t see him because I needed to study.
It was crazy that I was trying to eliminate all distractions so I could focus and this person just showed up and swept me off my feet. He would stay up chatting with me when I couldn’t sleep from anxiety about my exams, and for once in my life, I didn’t feel alone in my battles. I felt like the kind of love I had been looking for just fell into my lap. I didn’t have to try, and for once, I wasn’t afraid. It was as if a higher power said: it’s finally your time to find your forever--here he is.
He has been this crazy, strong person since he had a kidney transplant in his late 20’s and has literally grabbed life by the horns.
While we have faced so many external challenges as a couple in the short time we have been married, we are such a strong and solid team, and I know together we can face anything.
If there is any wisdom I can share from my own experiences, it’s: do not compromise your values. Don’t chase, and don’t make allowances. If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t meant for you. If your values don’t line up, the relationship truly won’t go far anyway. I can promise you that when it’s the right time, the right person will come and sweep you off your feet and teach you what real, unconditional love is, and you will know that this is your person. Like I know Matt is my person.
Do not compromise your values. Don’t chase, and don’t make allowances.
I was pretty honest about what I wanted early in the relationship. I was in my early 30s, I had sacrificed quite a few years to pursue my dream of becoming a lawyer and before I knew it, time had crept up on me. I was surrounded by so many amazing female mentors who shared with me that they would give up almost anything to go back in time to start their family. I was scared I would miss out because I saw their heartache. Don’t get me wrong, having a family is not for everyone, and I have a huge amount of respect for those that know exactly what is in their heart of hearts and have stuck with it and remained true to themselves.
Poor Matt was told very unromantically in the first month of our relationship that I wasn’t wanting to waste time, and if he didn’t want to get married and have kids soon that this wouldn’t work. I’m not sure if I was hoping he would scare easily and leave, but he didn’t. If you ever have the chance to meet him, you will know he doesn’t shy from a challenge. He has been this crazy, strong person since he had a kidney transplant in his late 20’s and has literally grabbed life by the horns. Four months later, we were engaged. We tell everyone it was a respectful 6 months, but in reality, we really got engaged secretly after 4 months. We just knew.
It was as if a higher power said: it’s finally your time to find your forever--here he is.
While I know that there are challenges coming up on the horizon for us from trying to start a family--as it hasn’t been so easy for us--and because we are looking after Matt’s kidney health, I know we will get through it like we have gotten through so many other obstacles. I know if we are meant to have a family, we will at the right time.
Sometimes my heart hurts and everything feels like a battle, and I feel my faith is being tested--but then I try to remember that I can’t mess up what was meant for me. I am trying to take it each day at a time, with a little bit of patience and grace, and enjoying spending time with my biggest blessing.
The right person will come and sweep you off your feet and teach you what real, unconditional love is, and you will know that this is your person.
Story of Victoria Ann London, Attorney at Law
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